The Games People Play
by | Posted in Passionate Results 115 Comments »I just read a joke about a costume party at http://www.comedyfootprint.com/2009/11/halloween-party-surprise/. I am warning you it is a little racy and makes you go EEWWW. But it made me think about how many couples do this and set themselves up for a fight or collapse of their relationship.
Again, this comes back to the ‘How much do you love me? – I am not enough’ mentality. Of course we all want to be loved. That is a given in human nature. And confirmation of this shared loved is wonderful.
But there are some people that play stupid little games with their lover that just sets them up for disappointment and heartache. They ask dumb questions like ‘Do you think he/she is hot? Would you sleep with him/her if you got the chance? Would you tell me about it?’ or ‘What does your dream partner look like to you? What is their personality, style sense, etc.?’ Get the picture?
These people have trouble inside their own skin I think. They don’t feel ‘good enough’ and are looking to their partner to confirm these feelings. Then when the fight or disintegration of the relationship begins, it is not their fault because their partner told them they were not good enough. And this just adds to their own angst and pain.
I worked in a bar for many years and would watch couples play stupid games. Getting drunk and ridiculous and deciding that they are going to show their lover that another man or woman wants them. Dumb game! Who cares if another person thinks you are desirable! What matters most is that your lover, your partner, your husband or wife thinks that you are desirable. The rest absolutely don’t matter.
Games are for kids. And games that are nasty and hurtful are not for anybody. They serve no higher good to those involved. Play games that empower your relationship. And if you are angry with your lover, don’t play any games at all. Talk straight. Be honest and open to clear the destructive feelings inside.
‘When you talk you get understanding and understanding is peace. When you don’t talk, you get misunderstanding and misunderstanding is fear.’ Ole Poulsen 1973 – 2006
Ole and I played lots of games…card games, board games, computer games. And many wonderful games lovers play, but that is for another day 
Passionate regards….Brenda
Tags: couples, games, lovers, playing, relationships, talking
December 8th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
“What matters most is that your lover, your partner, your husband or wife thinks that you are desirable”
I have to disagree here. What matters most is that YOU think YOU are desirable, and love yourself. Once you do that, the questions will not come up as you will not need to seek that reassurance from another. In return, you will receive more love and attention naturally because that is the vibration you will be holding.
Love yourself first, and all the insecurities of appearance and desire will disapear in your mind, and you will naturally attract the “reassurance” from your partner or others with out asking for it : )
December 8th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
You are oh so wise Michelle. I agree with you whole-heartedly but there are MANY people in this world that seeks the reassurance from their lover first that they are desirable. I guess maybe those were the people I was talking to.
But you are so right. When you love yourself, love flows around you. Because then it really doesn’t matter what anyone thinks and you wouldn’t begin to play such silly games in the first place.
Thanks for you insight Michelle
Passionate regards….Brenda
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January 6th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Funny how that goes eh! Oops, the Canadian is showing up in me again
What else do you talk about regarding relationships. I would be interested to know.
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Boyd, you are so welcome. If you have any questions or topics you would like explored, you are more than welcome to let me know. I will do my best to answer them.
Passionate regards….Brenda
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Passionate regards….Brenda
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You are welcome. I have had a lot of response to this topic and will write more about it in the future. I am loving the feedback. Is there anything else you have questions about? Let me know and I will do my best to answer them.
Passionate regards….Brenda
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Passionate regards….Brenda
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February 13th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
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February 21st, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and comment. I thought I had expressed my opinion that playing hurtful stupid games is not a good idea. Or setting yourself up for a fall is really dumb. Maybe I had not put enough emphasis on those points.
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Passionate regards…Brenda
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April 23rd, 2010 at 10:57 am
I am not your conscious. I can not tell you difinitively what you should or shouldn’t do. I don’t believe in playing nasty games and live my life by that. You have to decide what is right for you. I only offer suggestions. As T. Harv Eker says, “Don’t believe a word I am saying.” He meant that my experiences are MINE. I can tell you what worked for us and how things were in our marriage but this is OUR experience. You can take what you want from any of the posts here and try them or not. You can see the relevance in your own situation and apply what you read or not. I offer suggestions. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
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I had Paulo at http://www.pro-ecovers.com design my graphics. He is the best. A wonderful man in his vison and his heart.
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I have to say thank you to all of you that leave these wonderful comments. They mean the worlld to me. I am so grateful that I am offering information you feel you can relate to and use in your own relationships. Tons of hugs to all of you. Passioante regards….Brenda
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