We all tell Little White Lies…I didn’t eat the last piece of cake….I sent the cheque last week….I think you look great in neon pink. The list is long and the reasons many why we tell them.

For the most part, there are really only 2 reasons why we tell them. The first being is we don’t want to get into trouble so the Little White Lie will save us or at least buffer the blow. SO we think!

The second is so we don’t hurt someone’s  feelings. As honorable as this is, it really is not a good strategy. Somehow it seems that this Little White Lie comes back to bite you in the ass.

Both reasons are pretty lame. I know I would rather hear the truth. If I value your opinion enough that I would ask you what you think, then I can expect nothing less than the truth. If I want a sugar coated response, then I wouldn’t ask. I can make that up myself to make me feel okay with my decision.

One of the things we would hear in our seminars comes from couples with money issues. One is a spender and one is a saver, just like Ole and I were. Can you guess which I was?;-) But the thing is, I NEVER told Ole anything but the truth when he would ask what I spent. I might hedge a little but the truth would come out.

I mean, he would have found out anyway and then it would have caused a bigger problem in our relationship of trust issues. So why not be up front and face the music? Made more sense to me and Ole.

Not only that, if one of us went and spent a lot of money (that we probably didn’t have to spend), we would have talked about it first. Absolutely, there was the possibility of us disagreeing on the subject. But we talked about it first. And there were times when we would agree to disagree but the money was still spent…or not.

What I am trying to say here is that to hide stuff from each other does not empower your relationship. You are building on shaky ground. EVERY relationship needs a firm foundation to build on. If you build on Little White Lies or Big Out and Out Lies, you will have nothing more than a house built of straw. One strong wind and your relationship goes *POOF*.

Truth and trust are foundations for EVERY relationship that you will ever have in your life.

I had a very close friend growing up and we would go shopping. I can remember one day we were trying on clothes and Janice would critique what I tried and I would do the same.

Our comments weren’t sugar coated. If I thought she looked pregnant in the skirt, I told her. If she thought I looked like a big, green balloon in the dress, she told me. And as we were laughing and shopping a sales clerk was listening to us. Finally she asked, “Do you two shop together often?” We laughed even harder and said all the time.

The sales clerk was a little shocked I think because we did give an honest opinion to each other. Not a hurtful opinion but truthful in all good fun. Maybe the people she was used to would offer the ‘you look great in neon pink’ answers.

It was the same for Ole and I. I love hats. I have bought many and worn few. When Ole and I would go out shopping, I would try on hats. Some for shock value and to make him laugh and others I really liked. He would just shake his head and tell me, “You should NEVER wear a hat.”

I loved him for his honesty. That one was of the most endearing traits about him that I fell in love with. I always knew Ole would tell me the truth and exactly what he thought. He was never mean, crass or rude to get his point across. But his truthful nature was loved and appreciated.

I grew up with 5 brothers and 1 sister so I learned about saving my own ass early. I told many a Little White Lies in my youth. But meeting Ole changed all that. Not over night but it didn’t take long. I learned that the truth was the only way to go. Made our lives a lot simpler and we had a very strong foundation in our relationship.

Take responsibility for yourself. 100%! If you make a mistake, so be it. To admit your short-comings is a strength that only true leaders have. To error is human.

And that’s the truth!

Passionate regards….Brenda