I have been reading ‘The Shack’ by Wm. Paul Young. I am not a religious person but my sister-in-law sent it to me and I am always open to reading a good story. To tell you the truth I have been a little surprised by this book. The insights he comes up with are fascinating.

The one that really struck me yesterday when I was reading was that woman had to be hidden in man and at the right time removed from man. This was to create the circle of relationship between men and women. If woman did not come from man and had the ability to birth all, she would be all powerful over man. “We want male and female to be counterparts, face-to-face equals, each unique and different, distinctive in gender but complementary, and each empowered uniquely…”

How beautiful is that! Like I said, great insights.

Farther in the book, he goes on to say, “It’s simple, Mack. It’s all about relationships and simply sharing life….and being open and available to others around us….life is all about relationships.”

I almost cried when I read this. Ya know, people would always comment on Ole and I and how great we were together. As true as I am writing this, people always noticed the love and the strength in our relationship. And this is exactly what it is all about.

Being open and available to the people around us.

Ole and I were always there for each other. We shared life with each other. When we first met we would talk on the phone at least once a day and sometimes two for an hour at a time. He would call me in Yukon, Canada or I would call him in Denmark. Neither place had any kind of long distance plans but it didn’t matter. It would have been worse to not talk than have the money we spent on phone bills.

And after we were together and married, we were always there for each other. If he needed help with collecting firewood, I would go. It was wonderful being out there with him. If I needed help in my salon, he would come and wash hair and answer phones.

I was learning how to apply fake nails made from linen. I need a hand to practice on. Ole was there for me. It was not a manly thing to do, having false nails put on. But it didn’t bother him. We had more fun doing silly things than I can tell. We were both open to try and experience new things with each other.

There is NOTHING we would not have done for each other.

We had a great relationship because we were available to each other, open and honest and most of all, LOVING. I miss those moments of sharing, exploring, being available and loving. Thank heavens I have my memories.

Just imagine for a minute if your closest friend was never available to you. You didn’t go out to lunch together. She didn’t have time to talk your troubles out or just go have a coffee. He didn’t want to go see a movie with you. It wouldn’t be long and you would be looking for a new friend.

It runs true in relationships also. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or a high power, high pressure job. It doesn’t matter that you both have a million different interests. Couples need to make the time to be available to each other or eventually the relationship goes south.

Maybe that is why there are so many break-ups. Maybe people don’t really want to be available to each other. Then they are not vulnerable and will not be hurt so deeply.

There is nothing on this earth that I loved more than my husband. And I believe he felt the same about me. I miss being available for him. I miss the laughing, hugging, secret smiles, arguing and most of all the love we shared.

The pain in my heart from loosing him runs deeper than I have ever felt before. I will never ‘get over’ this. Just a different life now. I don’t remember who said it but the gist of it was, if you don’t allow yourself to feel the pain you will never be able to feel the joy.

Take the chance to hurt deeply. Allow yourself to be available in your relationships. Life is short. Sharing your life with the person you love is the greatest gift. Jump in with both feet and all your heart.

Passionate regards….Brenda