I have had so many comments to the post Games People Play. Thanks for taking the time to read my posts and comment on them. I am so happy that our marriage, love and ideas are helping other people find the love of their dreams.

What worries me is that there must be many people playing stupid games with their lovers. Why? What does this accomplish?

Are we really programmed to look for the negative in our lives? Do we believe someplace under our surface thoughts that our loving relationship will never last? That all good things must come to an end? Then we do something to screw it up to make sure we were right in believing that?

And of course, the destruction of our relationship is not due to any actions on our part. It is ALWAYS someone’s  fault other than our own that our love life fell apart (my heart is hurting just writing this).

Why can’t we look for the good in what we have? Ole and I held a couples seminar and one woman told us that she gets suspicious of her husband when he brings flowers home. She wonders if he has been out with another woman, something to hide, or make up for. YIKES!

I think it’s sad that her first thought wasn’t, “How sweet! You are so loving and kind to think of me.” Nope! Jump to the negative first. What a shame and possibly a waste of precious time because this will surely end up in a ‘discussion’.

We can retrain ourselves though. That is a fact. We can begin to focus on the good in our lives and our relationships. This is especially true for times when your mind wants to take you on the slanted slopes of mental slavery into the negative.

Ole and I had a book beside the bed.  Every night we would write in 3 to 5 things we were grateful for about each other. I was and still am always grateful for his love. We retrained our thinking patterns to look for the positive in our lives.

Eventually we found that we would only use it if we had been arguing because when you are upset and angry it is absolutely important to acknowledge the things you love about your partner. It is imperative to know that you can be angry with each other but still love one another.

And when your mind wants to jump on the ski hill to negative slavery, STOP! Stop the thought immediately. Don’t even go there because then you start slipping and before you know it you are at the bottom of the hill and angry. About what? Your own assumptions, beliefs and ideas about what is going on. These dangerous thoughts do not help in the truth of the situation.

If you start looking for all the nasty things, you will not have the vision to see and experience all the wonderful, loving adventures in your relationship. OK…Do this RIGHT NOW! Look around your room and count all the things that are red. You have 10 seconds. Hurry! LOOK NOW!

How many things did you see that were green? When all you want to see and focus on are the red things, your mind can not pick up on the green that is surely right in front of you.

It is the same in our relationships. Look for the love. Feel the love. Take a pleasure cruise on the Love Boat your whole life and leave behind the slippery slopes of mental slavery into the negative ( I’m just having a little fun with the imagery ).

Look for the good things in your life and relationship. With every day that passes, comes new and wonderful adventures in our lives. Even in the midst of heavy and sad times there is always something good.

I don’t have my husband here with me now but I can sure remember the love and good times we had. That brings me a lot of happiness knowing that we had such an incredible relationship that others always noticed and commented on.

And I still have my girls…2 dogs and a cat. They make me smile every day.

Look for the good in your life. We have so much to be thankful for.

Passionate regards….Brenda