I was listening to a Joe Vitale program today and he said “Money likes speed.” Meaning that the quicker you act on your ideas, the more money you will generate.

But I got to thinking, does love like speed? I don’t know why I thought that but figured I will quickly act on my idea as Joe says.

Does Love like speed? I am a firm believer in love at first sight. I absolutely believe that there are couples from the very moment they met, they knew they were going to be together forever.

I know couples that went out for a VERY short period of time and decided to get married. My Mom and Dad for instance. They knew each other for only 6 weeks when Dad proposed to Mom. She said yes and he went off to the Navy in WW2. They got married a year later.

But I have also known couples that rushed into the whole-meal-deal and were divorced just as quick. So I guess I could ask myself, does divorce like speed. From what I have heard, the quicker the better.

I think Love is LIKE speed more than saying DOES it like speed. When you first fall in love the world is wonderful. There is nothing wrong and everything is right in your universe. The trees are greener. The birds sing louder. The colors are brighter. All is right in the world.

It really is like you are on a natural high. I am by far no scientist but I am sure there have been studies testing the chemical releases and all that happens in your mind and body when a person is new in love.

That first time when Ole told me “I love you”…WOW! Nothing else mattered in my world. The building could have collapsed around me and I would have just been happy to be there. Life was glorious. Fantastic! SUPER DELICIOUS!

Did we have a speedy courtship? I guess by some people’s standards we did. But looking back at our life we didn’t sit on the fence too long with anything. If we wanted to do, create, try or learn something, we just went out and did it.

But I remember the day we decided to get married. We were sitting on a tree at the beach and talking about what to do next in our lives. Should we stay in Denmark? Should we go back to Canada? And we also had to consider immigration laws? We decided, marriage. We knew we wanted to be together so that would be best.

That was a Wednesday.

We talked about when we should do this and thought Friday was a good day. Yes! Two days. We could call the mayor and see if we could set it up. Sounded good to us.

We went back to Ole’s parents to tell them. I could not even go in with Ole as I am a bit of a chicken at times. I didn’t understand Danish AT ALL then and could only read the body language. I didn’t want to read anything that wasn’t there so I opted to clean the car while Ole talked with his parents.

When Ole came out he was smiling the biggest smile. He said he talked to them and told them our plans. They thought maybe we were rushing things but Ole said no, this is what we want. They wanted to get the church booked and plan a wedding. Ole said no, we want to get married in 2 days by the mayor. I don’t think Ole’s parents knew what hit them when I came into Ole’s life!

We couldn’t get married on Friday because the mayor was busy so we had to wait until Monday, 11am. Perfect!

We told Ole’s family and his friends suspected we might be talking about getting married but we never really said anything to them until the day before. Ole’s mom and dad were there for the ceremony. It was wonderful!

When we went back to the farm, we were going to go back to work that afternoon. Ole’s parents had a tree farm and we worked with them. They said we couldn’t get married and go back to work. We should take the day and make it special.

We had lunch with the other workers and then went to see Egeskov Castle. When we came home later we went out for an amazing dinner with Ole’s family.

There was no one from my family there as it was a quick wedding and they were all in Canada. But that was okay too. I wore my Dad’s officer jacket from the Navy. So I knew he was there in spirit. And of course the family sent wonderful emails and phone calls wishing us well.

That was 12 years ago. Tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary. I am missing my handsome husband more than I can say. If we didn’t use speed to our advantage in our short time together, maybe it would have even been shorter yet.

Does love like speed? It goes both ways. It is different for each individual and couple. But I KNOW for certain that life can speed by before you know it and it is over.

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” – George Sand

Here’s to SPEED!

Passionate regards….Brenda

Not many people know the difference between romance and intimacy. Many people think if you have one you have the other but that is far from the truth.

First, I think so you can understand what I mean, I will give you the definition of both. These definitions come from the Gage The Senior Dictionary.

Romance: a love story, a story of adventure, a story or poem telling of heroes, real events or conditions that are like such stories, full of love, excitement, or noble deeds, an interest in adventure and love, a love affair, a false or extravagant story.

Intimate: very familiar, known very well, closely acquainted, close, very personal, most private, far within, a close friend.

Intimacy: the state of being intimate, close acquaintance, a familiar or intimate act

To be intimate with another person means to KNOW them. Know what they think, what they feel, what they believe, what they wish for. Being intimate means to know another persons fears and what they love. Being intimate with someone means you know everything there is to know about them and continue to learn more.

When you are romantic….well do I need to tell you? If you don’t know what it is to be romantic, go to the book store or library and get educated. Become a student of the fine art of seduction and romance.

I want to focus on intimacy though. We can be intimate with many people in our lives in many ways on different levels. Think about your closest friend. Are you intimate with them? If they are your CLOSEST friend, I would have to say yes. I am not talking about sleeping with them, but I bet you know things about your friend that others don’t.

Now think about your lover. Are you intimate with them? Really think for just a minute. You are intimate on the physical level but do you really know them? Do you know what they fear, love, wish for and so on?

Ole and I had a great advantage when we were ‘dating’. Our dates consisted of talking on the phone because he was in Denmark and I was in Yukon, Canada. So we would talk for at least an hour per phone call and sometimes twice a day. We talked almost every day for 3 months before I went to Denmark to celebrate New Years with him.

After I came home from a 3 week holiday, we continued to talk for another 2 months before I went to Denmark to live and see where our relationship was going.

I got to know Ole better than most people who see each other every day because we romanced each other with our words which led to the deep intimacy of our relationship. Now understand that our conversations were not all flowery and smoochy and all that kissy stuff.

WE TALKED. WE LISTENED. WE WERE INTIMATE.

I felt so close to Ole in a way I have never felt with anybody before because I got to KNOW him. We would be talking about something and I would be blown away with his depth and knowledge. I would ask him, “How can you know that? You are only 24 years old!” He was amazing. He opened my eyes to look at the world in so many different ways.

As we talked, I opened myself to him also. I let Ole into places within me that others have never heard nor seen. He knew by looking at my eyes that my mood had changed. We heard so often that our relationship was closer than some couples that had been married for 50 years.

Ole definitely made me a better person because of who he was. I am forever grateful to have had him in my life. He is still and always will be in my life. I have never been so intimate with anyone before. Both physically and emotionally, as well as spiritually. I feel so lucky to have shared so much with such a (I am struggling for a word here because there is not one word to describe my husband) wonderful,amazing, intelligent man.

I found this quote shortly after Ole died. I would have love to have shared it with him as it was exactly how I felt.

I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out. - Elizabeth Barret Browning

Romance alone cannot make a person love. INTIMACY is the true way to the heart.

Passionate regards….Brenda