When you think of romance what picture do you paint? Can you see the flames dancing in the fireplace with plush, soft, overstuffed pillows luring lovers into their comforting embrace. The bottle of wine twinkles in the glow of the fire like a single star in the night sky. The plate of expensive cheese sweats in the heat of the fire like love drenched skin dripping with lust and passion.

Two people slide gracefully down into the pillows and melt into each other’s bodies. The soft talk and soft music are only to distract the senses so the couple does not hurry and can take pleasure in the moment.  They sip the wine and nibble the cheese all the while being very aware of every nuance and detail of their companion.

They both look deep into eyes filled with adoration. They touch skin hot with lust and longing. They smell a heavenly fragrance unbeknown to their nose but the pheromones are strong and pungent. The taste of a kiss lingers on lips trickling words of love and fairy tales.

Time moves forward, as does the couple’s passion. She protests but he coaxes her tender heart to a place of safety with his words and soft caresses.  She succumbs to his advances and the shoulders of her silk dress float down her arms like the touch of a butterfly. They embrace and quench their thirst for love.

Back to reality!

Pretty picture isn’t it. Who would not fall prey to such a scene given the right man or woman and the explosive chemistry of love and lust?

This is not the only form of romance although most people think of romance to fall into a similar scenario of passion, soft glances and soft touches.

Romance is a large part of our lives. Not the wine and flowers and fire in the fireplace kind but everyday romance.

When your lover asks you to pick up the dry cleaning and you know full well you do not have the time, you say no. So your honey snuggles up close and pouts their lips and holds you tight and says ‘Pretty please Sugar. You are so sweet to me and this would help me so much today. Pleeaasse…’ You love the attention, the loving words and the tenderness. Were you not seduced by romance?

When you see a commercial on TV and the product is so well portrayed that you just have to have it….were you not seduced by romance? When you and you darling are out together at a party where you exchange secret glances and smiles…is that not romantic seduction? Absolutely!

Romance is everywhere. When you walk along a path in the woods and the birds sing and the leaves on the trees shimmer in the breeze. The colors, the forest smells, the sounds are all seducing you with their natural romantic natures.

Has your sweetheart never surprised with something, a gift or deep felt words and gestures to the point it brought tears to your eyes? In the same breath, have you never gazed upon a mountain valley, a deer standing solitaire and still in the dawns light of morning or at a newborn baby and your eyes fill with drops of gratitude, joy and love. Is this not all the seduction of romance?

When we allow the romance of everyday experiences to seduce us, our world really does open to new possibilities and experiences. We have become trained to think in a Hollywood box about romance and forget we live incredible and amazing romantic lives and are seduced with every turn of the clock’s hands.

Fabulous, isn’t it! The seduction of romance is alive and well and lives in our very own heart. Be open to the seduction. You will never be the same person again after you surrender to the beauty and joy that seeks to romance you every day.

 Passionate regards….Brenda

Written for http://www.wholefitness.com/health.html 2008

I just read a joke about a costume party at http://www.comedyfootprint.com/2009/11/halloween-party-surprise/. I am warning you it is a little racy and makes you go EEWWW. But it made me think about how many couples do this and set themselves up for a fight or collapse of their relationship.

Again, this comes back to the ‘How much do you love me? – I am not enough’ mentality. Of course we all want to be loved. That is a given in human nature. And confirmation of this shared loved is wonderful.

But there are some people that play stupid little games with their lover that just sets them up for disappointment and heartache. They ask dumb questions like ‘Do you think he/she is hot? Would you sleep with him/her if you got the chance? Would you tell me about it?’ or ‘What does your dream partner look like to you? What is their personality, style sense, etc.?’ Get the picture?

These people have trouble inside their own skin I think. They don’t feel ‘good enough’ and are looking to their partner to confirm these feelings. Then when the fight or disintegration of the relationship begins, it is not their fault because their partner told them they were not good enough. And this just adds to their own angst and pain.

I worked in a bar for many years and would watch couples play stupid games. Getting drunk and ridiculous and deciding that they are going to show their lover that another man or woman wants them. Dumb game! Who cares if another person thinks you are desirable! What matters most is that your lover, your partner, your husband or wife thinks that you are desirable. The rest absolutely don’t matter.

Games are for kids. And games that are nasty and hurtful are not for anybody. They serve no higher good to those involved. Play games that empower your relationship. And if you are angry with your lover, don’t play any games at all. Talk straight. Be honest and open to clear the destructive feelings inside.

‘When you talk you get understanding and understanding is peace. When you don’t talk, you get misunderstanding and misunderstanding is fear.’    Ole Poulsen 1973 – 2006

Ole and I played lots of games…card games, board games, computer games. And many wonderful games lovers play, but that is for another day  

Passionate regards….Brenda