I am going to start this post with a short video. You may have even seen it before but it shows how powerful your words are and how important it is to formulate what you want to say in the best way possible. It is less than 2 minutes and VERY powerful!

 
Are you wondering what that has to do with me and Ole? Everything!

We talked to each other a lot. We would ALWAYS end our day with a good talk in bed. We would connect each night this way on what happened and how we were feeling about what was going on in our lives.

Was this important? YOU BET! There are far too many couples that lose touch with each other because they don’t talk. They let the kids, their jobs, the families, their hobbies, their friends, and all the other things life consists of get in the way of being CONNECTED and TOGETHER. 

Just because 2 people live together does not mean they are communicating on a regular basis. Oh sure they do the “How was your day? What did you do? Did you pick up the milk? Will you get the kids today?” And so it goes. 

But they never get into the meat and potatoes of their relationship and find out what is happening in their hearts, minds and souls. This is where relationships are built and this is where a relationship grows stronger.

Think back to this little video you just watched. What did you FEEL when you watched it? Take a minute and do this. You might find out you haven’t been checking in with yourself either. So take a minute and think about what you felt as you watched this video.

I have watched this video several times and I get teary each time. The Power of Words….amazing isn’t it!

Maybe the reason why it touches me so deeply is because I know my words were not always so kind. I know I have hurt people deeply with things I have said in the heat of a moment. And once those words are expressed, there is no going back. You can apologize as many times as you want but the words still hang in the air. Even if the person you said them to forgives and forgets, you never do.

What I am suggesting is just be aware of how you talk to each other and other people in general. Notice the tone of your voice and the words you use. You can still ask your sweetheart, “How are you?”. But the way you ask will give it a whole new meaning showing them that you are truly interested in what their answer will be.

Choose your words wisely. They are the building blocks to a romantic, wonderful life with your partner that you never dreamed possible. Make sure the words you use come from your heart and not that place where you think “This is what they want to hear.”…because that place is empty. Those words hold no weight and can be blown away along with your sincerity and the trust of your partner.

The Power of Words! Words can destroy quicker than the blink of an eye. But just by taking a second to think before you speak, your words can also build a beautiful, loving amazing experience.

Passionate regards….Brenda

I was at a friend’s 40th birthday party yesterday and had such a huge AHA moment…I miss the Relationship Safety I had with Ole.

I don’t go to many large parties or functions these days. Not because I am anti-social or anything. I have enjoyed many delightful dinners with 2 or 3 couples and me. But I can see myself a little clearer from having attended this party yesterday.

It was a lovely affair with around 50 people or so. Nothing huge where you are not sure if there will be someone you can talk with, but an intimate gathering of family and friends. It was very calm and relaxed. People were enjoying themselves, talking, drinking, eating. It was quite wonderful.

There were several people I knew there that I could talk with and enjoy. The thing was I felt like a fish out of water. I felt so alone inside myself. I felt emotional, nervous, sad and happy at the same time. I felt like I wanted to just come home to the ‘Safety’ of my house and dogs.

As I drove home I was asking myself what was going on with me? I was never one to step away from a good time. I was always the one that could talk to anyone and everyone. I was always the one to laugh loud and have fun. I was always one of the last people to leave because I didn’t want to miss anything. What happened?

I lost the Relationship Safety I had knowing Ole was beside me.

“What does that mean exactly?” I asked myself. It meant I felt totally exposed. I felt like people could see into me and see through me. I felt like there was no back-up if I needed one. Meaning there was no one to just sit with and watch the party unfold. Not having to think about what to say or where I should stand.

I was so shocked as this unravelled in my head as I drove home. I have never been nervous about doing things on my own. I have always been very independent and self assured. Even in our marriage I did many things on my own with Ole’s blessing. So this was somewhat unsettling to say the least.

The Relationship Safety I had with Ole infused every aspect of my life. I had someone that I respected to ask his opinion of things. I had someone to stand beside me not so much to hold me up but to be stronger. I had someone that could calm me with a look. I had everything I needed and wanted wrapped up in this one person.

Maybe I was already thinking along these same lines earlier this week. I work with home care here in Denmark and I was talking with a lady the other day as I helped her put on her support stockings. I said I was having a difficult time deciding if I should buy new doors for my house or not. I am still not sure how long I can be here in Denmark because immigration has not settled my case. So it is wise to spend so much money on a house that I may have to sell?

As our conversation continued with these questions with no absolute answers, she said that this is one of those decisions that it really helps to have two to decide. I agreed whole heartedly.

Yes I can ask his family and friends. Yes I can talk to my family and friends. But when it comes down to the final decision it is only me. I miss the Relationship Safety I had with Ole.

Ole gave me so much strength and support I still feel so much like half a person without him. I thought my inner strength was building more than what I displayed at this party.

I always knew that Ole had my back and I had his. I always knew that he was there for me and with me through thick and thin. I always knew that if I could not see clearly, he would be able to show me a better way. I felt so safe with Ole.

And as I was analysing myself through all this I realised that this is another reason why our relationship was so amazing. The Relationship Safety we had with each other built such a solid foundation for us to grow as a couple and as individuals.

I think this is a topic worth exploring more next week. But in the mean time, think about how much Relationship Safety you have with your mate. What does it mean to you to have Relationship Safety in your relationship?

To be continued….

Passionate regards….Brenda

I am so happy to say that I am back. I have something new…A NEW COMPUTER. It is wonderful to say the least. I guess 10 years is a long time to not upgrade to a new computer. I, like most other people, just get used to doing what I always do. Then one day, we are forced to try Something New.

Isn’t that the truth? We get into certain habits that just turn into our daily routines. We drive the same way to work or to the usual grocery stores. We tend to make the same culinary delights that we have learned and used for years. Yeah, sure we shake things up once in a while but I think for the most part, people are creatures of habit.

That goes for our romantic lives as well. We tend to stick to what we know, what works, and what we get used to. This includes how we romance our lovers and how we make love.

Sometimes we forget how exciting it is to try Something New in our lives. We get used to the same old stuff and it’s good enough. Life gets busy and we get a little more tired with jobs, kids, and all the rest that becomes our daily routines. Then we forget to look for the Something New to explore with.

Let me tell you, when you start bringing Something New, Something Exciting into your bedroom, you find a new energy in the rest of your life.

That was a great thing about Ole and I…we always looked for new ways to excite each other. We looked for new places to make love. We looked for new ideas to surprise the other with romance, intimacy and sex. We didn’t restrict this wanting to surprise the other just in the bedroom. This was our life in the kitchen, on road trips, and everything else.

I have a funny story to tell you. You will really think we lost our marbles but it was a lot of fun.

I came to Denmark to stay for a bit to see where things were going to go with Ole and I. I could stay for 3 months then I would have to leave the country again or apply to stay longer. We learned quickly that we fit together so well.

Ole had such ideas about life that I have never encountered in anyone else. He was very creative in so many areas. He didn’t see life like other people did. I guess that is why I fell in love with him.

One day Ole came into the bedroom with a sander, an electric sander…without the sandpaper of course. I looked at him and didn’t know what to expect. I voiced my reservations about this but he said just try it. Okay!

He had me lay down on the bed on my stomach then he started sanding my back, bumb, legs and arms with this machine. WOW! WOW! WOW! It had a lot of power in it, more than a regular viberator for sure. I was totally amazed how WONDERFUL it felt. And how arousing this strong vibrating sensation was.

That was not the last time we used the sander (without sandpaper) in our love making. And that was not the last time he came up with a winning idea.

I know it is so easy to get caught up in our everyday lives where we feel over worked and over whelmed that we just don’t feel we have the energy to try Something New. Little do we realise that when we bring Something New into our lives that it also brings with it a spark of electricy. It gives new life to our relationships. It infuses us with new energy.

I am putting a challenge out to you. Try Something New in your love making. Try Something New in preparing your daily meals. Try Something New in your life this week.

I know this new computer has me all fired up. I have so many ideas for blog posts. I am so excited to share these ideas and events in our life with you. I can hardly contain myself.

So what will your Something New be to tantalise your lover?

Go for the gusto! Try Something New!

Passionate regards….Brenda

Do you remember when you were in the begining of your relationship? Do you remember how important it was to put your Best YOU forward? How important it was to attract that special someone into all areas of your life?

What about now after 3 years into the relationship? Or 10 years? Or 30 years? Do you still put your Best YOU forward?

When we find a special person that we would like to draw into our lives we go out of our way to be more attractive. We wear the pretty clothes…and this goes for both men and women. We make sure our hair sits just right and looks soft and touchable. We take extra special time with our apprearance. We may even start exercising or add extra workouts to our fitness plan.

But it doesn’t stop there. When we are doing our best to be attractive we make allowances in several areas. For instance, you may not really enjoy Monster Trucks but that new man in your life would love to share his enthusiasm for them with you. So of course you tag along and smile, laugh, scream and get involved in the show. Am I right?

Or perhaps, you are not so thrilled about shopping but your new lovely lady wants to get your opinion on a dress. She has several in mind if you would just come and have a look with her. You have sat on many ‘Man Chairs’ (that’s what I call the chairs some clothing stores have outside the fitting rooms), looked at too many dresses to count, and all you can think of is how beautiful she looked in each of them.

Let’s fast forward 3 years…in both of these scenerios the outcome will possibly be very different.

“Monster Trucks! Are you crazy? Why don’t you call Steve and I will stay home and read?”

“Shopping! Not again. You try on so many dresses and they all look the same. I have a lot of things to do around here ya know. Can’t you just go by yourself?”

I may be exagreating this a little but I wanted you to understand my point. When we are trying to attract that new love into our lives, we will bend over backwards to be more attractive and accommodating. This means taking extra time for our physical appreance and making time to spend with each other even if it is a less than desirable event.

Ole and I did the same. I had a much smaller waist when I was enticing him into my lair than I did when he died. I was much more aware of how my makeup was done or what clothes I put on than after we were married a few years.

We always liked to be together and most of the time it didn’t matter where we went. So that part didn’t change much. But there were times I was not interested for sure.

Like Monster Trucks…they got old real fast after we were married.

Ole put his foot down too. He was not interested in going out looking around in the stores. Ole was not a shopper.

As I read a blurb on Facebook that prompted this rant today, I started to think about Ole and me. Some days I would pull my hair up and no makeup, old frumpy clothes…not a pretty sight in my eyes but still did it. Why? Because I got lazy.

Why do we take so much time to put our Best Selves forward in the attracting stage of a relationship but then forget it after? Why is it not so important to do things together later in our relationship?

The fact is, IT IS IMPORTANT! I am not sure what happens in the human mind that lets us believe we have hooked the big fish and now we can relax. Maybe it does come down to just being lazy. I can’t say for sure.

But I do know that when you don’t put your Best YOU forward, it affects everything from your own self esteme to your relationship with your lover.

Go back a couple paragraphs where I wrote about getting lazy and I didn’t think I looked good…do you think I projected that thought out in our relationship? YOU BET I DID! Do you think I felt like Ole was attraced to me on those days I looked lke that? NOT A CHANCE!

Feeling and being attractive comes from the inside of you. It is not how you look on the outside or how you hair sits or what clothes you wear. It comes from the smile that you flash at your lover that says ‘Honey, I’m hot and you know it!’ while you are painting the fence in your old baggy clothes and your hair is streaked with sweat and paint. But not many people are lucky enough to know that about themselves.

So what do you do?

Don’t allow yourself to get lazy. Pretend each day that this is just the beginning of your relationship. Remember the little things you did to attract that wonderful person into your life and start doing those things again. Talk about heating up the kitchen! You will find a renewed spark in yourself, your lover and your relationship.

BE BOLD!

PUT YOUR BEST YOU FORWARD!

Passionate regards….Brenda

When you think about planning a Romantic Getaway, what do think about? Soft music, candle light, fireplace, exotic retreats?

That is the standards I guess for Romantic Getaways, but have you ever thought about Monster Trucks, skydiving, drive-in movie? Most people don’t think about these as Romantic Getaways but they can make the candle light and soft music seem lame in comparison.

Like I have said before, you wouldn’t take a person that hates fishing on a fishing trip. But sometimes, we design these enchanting moments to reflect OUR desires and that which could be pleasing, enjoyable and sexy to our partner.

But have you ever thought about what your partner finds REALLY EXCITING? Maybe your man has always wanted to go up in a hot air balloon but never has for various reasons. How thrilled would he be if you bought him a trip and said you would pick him up at the other end. Greet him with a picnic basket and a blanket where you can lounge and hear all about his experience. How HOT would he think you are? SMOKIN’!

Maybe that wonderful lady in your life has always wanted someone to come in and organise her kitchen or learn to play a guitar. But she has never pursued it for whatever reasons. Would you be the best boy on the block if you made this little dream come true? ABSOLUTELY! You would be smothered with kisses.

Think about when you have done something really exciting. You were filled with life and energy. You felt great and invincible. And you couldn’t wait to get home to your lover and tell him all about this moment you just had. You just wanted to hug and kiss him because you were filled with this amazing feeling and wanted to share it.

We are so conditioned to think of romance as soft and intimate and that it involves sitting across from each other holding hands while you talk in hushed tones and look longingly into each other’s eyes. 

But it is SO much more.

Unselfish acts of kindness are extremely romantic.

Think about how romantic it is when a person goes to a homeless shelter and helps in the kitchen. Think about how romantic it is when a person goes to a convalescent home and talks with the people that live there just to brighten their day. Think about how romantic it is when you lover offers to babysit for a friend so they can go out for a romantic dinner alone.

These are ALL Romantic Getaways. Not in the traditional sense but there is a romantic energy that flows through them. And you would look at your lover in a more romantic and loving way when you hear what they did. When you see them talking with people that just need a friend.

When Ole was in the hospital and should start his chemo, I was so beside myself. There was no way I could have went home and left him there. I slept in a chair beside his bed and held his hand or had my foot resting against his leg. I needed to know he was there and that I was there for him if he needed anything.

When he woke up the next day after that first night of chemo, he looked at me and asked if I had been there all night. I said of course I had. He smiled the softest smile and said, “How romantic.”  There were no candles or soft music but there was so much romance and love in that room it could have filled a million restaurants in Paris.

In fact, I didn’t go home until Ole did. The hospital brought a bed into his room and let me stay with him the whole week. Was this a Romantic Getaway that we would have dreamed of having with each other? I think not. But there was a thread of romance through it in a tragic and sad way. That week was extremely intimate and so much love flowed between us on deeper levels.

Now I am not saying to give up the candle light dinners for a soup kitchen. But once in a while it would bring more adventure, more spice, more dimension into your relationship.

We get caught in conditioned thinking not just in our relationships but our lives. We get caught in someone else’s thoughts and ideas what something should or shouldn’t look like, feel like, be like.

Put on your romantic thinking caps and see if you can’t explore the idea of Romantic Getaways from a totally new perspective. The connection you and your lover will experience will be deeper, more joyful and more loving.

Passionate regards….Brenda

When was the last time you challenged yourself? Maybe it was to accomplish a goal by a certain date or to achieve something great in sports. Maybe you wanted to learn something new and challenged yourself to do it?

Let me ask you this, when was the last time you challenged yourself to DO better, BE better in your relationship?

We focus so much on our outer world; our jobs, sports, hobbies, school, families. Sometimes our intimate relationships get pushed to the bottom of the list. We forget that our relationship with our wonderful other is one of our greatest challenges and achievements.

Ole and I were on a constant quest to learn more about how to have a great marriage. No we didn’t have kids to take care of but that doesn’t mean we had a lot of free time. But we still found the time to explore and learn to bring MORE into our marriage.

We challenged ourselves to be the best we could be in our marriage. And this meant learning about each other and relationships. We were very proud of the fact that people ALWAYS commented on what a loving relationship we had. But we also put a lot of work into our relationship too.

There are so many couples that don’t make it. I just wonder if they would have challenged themselves to BE more, DO more with each other, would they still decide to split up?

I believe that we focus on so much outside ourselves that we forget to focus on what is most important and just hope it will run on autopilot. We set financial, physical,  job related challenges and goals and we leave the most important part of our life, our relationship, to flow as best it can with little or no guidance.

How often do you hear anyone talking about they are setting a goal to learn 6 new sexual positions over the next 2 weeks? Or they have a goal to plan THE MOST romantic evening their partner could EVER imagine? Or they will learn 4 new places on their lovers body they like to be kissed, stroked, rubbed, or bit?

Not very often.

As we grow up we are not taught how to have a relationship. With the amount of divorces and single parents, it is difficult for kids to learn how to have a loving, long-term relationship because kids learn these things by example.

Again, I am not judging, just stating facts. I don’t know what has happened in people’s lives to bring them to the place that they are. We all make our own decisions and mistakes. I am not placing blame on anyone.

I am just suggesting that if couples would challenge them self or each other to learn more about love, making love and living in love, maybe we would have less divorces and single parents.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a house with both my parents. But that does not mean I learned how to have a great relationship with Ole. I am sure my parents loved each other but they didn’t hug and kiss in front of us. Well, Christmas morning, birthdays, that kind of thing they would give each other a little squeeze and kiss.

But my Mom has a temper and I learned how to yell. I learned that is how you argue with your husband (but it’s not the best way for sure). I don’t remember how often Mom would yell at Dad but I guess it was often enough. And then she wouldn’t talk to him after.

In high school, I watched how the kids dated. When I worked in the bars, I watched how people, lovers, treated each other. I wasn’t impressed so I never dated. But that doesn’t mean I never had ‘relationships’ with men. I just didn’t want anything long-term because I didn’t like what I had seen in my family’s relationships or most people around me.

I was fascinated with relationships and sex long before I met Ole and read more books than I can count. It was exciting to try new things. It was interesting to learn about the dynamics of a relationship. And when Ole and I got married, I was even more interested to learn, as was he.

Decide today that you will challenge yourself to learn something exciting, new, interesting, adventurous to bring more joy and love into your relationship. Challenge yourself to be all that you can be in your love affair and then push yourself that little bit extra.

If we put as much effort into our relationships as we do our sports, hobbies or watching TV, we all would have relationships that would grow and flourish into the romance of the century.

Be Bold! Be Brave! Be Adventurous! Challenge yourself to BE MORE in your relationship. The results are worth it.

Passioante regards….Brenda

I was listening to Bob Proctor and his Six Minutes to Success program. He was talking about sex(the noun).  He said we have a lot of misunderstanding about sex. I have to agree with him. Where do you stand? Is it good, bad or otherwise?

There is so much tabu about sex and talking openly about it. Yet we can talk easily about the war, bloody accidents, fights, angry situations and the graphic scenes we see in movies of murder, rape, child abuse etc.

 But if you start talking about sex, people get all twittery and shy. Or else they just shut you down or shut you out. WHY?

I believe there is sex(the verb) and there is making love. And there is a definite difference. Sex is the one-night-stands. Sex is the 10 minute quickies. Sex is about just seeking that adreneline rush you get from having intercourse and the orgasmic release you feel in your body. Sex is a lot about looking out for your own gratification.

But making love is something totally different. When you make love you engage ALL your senses. You feel every caress to the Nth degree. Each kiss is savoured like a delicious dessert. The dance of 2 loving people in the horizontal position is as beautiful as a ballet.

And as your own mind and body are whirling in this amazing feeling dance, you are very aware of your partner and what they feel as well. You are focused as much on their body and that they should experience incredible titillating sensations as you are on your own self.

Sensual. Sexual. Exciting. Building to a crescendo with each touch, with each kiss, with each thrust. You engauge ALL of your senses. Your smell is heightened. Your skin tingles. Your body pulses. It’s the most amazing thing to make love with someone you are in love with.

I remember asking a girlfriend one time what it was like to make love to man you are in love with. She said she could not describe how wonderful it felt. But she said that once you do, you will know the difference. She was absolutely right!

When I would make love to Ole, I knew exactly what she was talking about. The feelings, the sensations, EVERYTHING was different. I had never made love before. I had only had sex. I knew that then.

So back to Bob Proctor…he said that when two people are in rapport with their ideas and emotions, they have a great physical relationship. I absolutely agree with him!

We think foreplay is just the part that gets your mind and body in the mood for intercourse. But it is more than that. We engage in foreplay almost all of the time.

Every time you run your hand across your lover’s shoulders, every time you talk about your hopes, dreams, ideas and fears, you are engaging in foreplay. Bob Proctor calls it rapport.

Now think about this. If the person you are in an intimate and sexual relationship with was not someone you liked to talk to, share your thoughts, hopes and fears with, or have anything in common, do you think that your sex life would be so great? NO!

Our minds and emotions must be involved in the sexual experience to make it a mind blowing event.

Try it! The next time you are going to make love to your sweetheart, don’t think about anything. NOTHING!

You cannot think about where their hands are touching you. You cannot see the colors as you close your eyes and allow your soul to be swept away in a river of sensuality and excitement. You cannot let your heart explode with love when they drive your body to the brink of release.  You can only focus on your body and the release you are seeking.

Can you do that? I doubt it.

BUT! If you were just having sex with someone, you could do that. You could just get lost inside your own physical senses and have your fun.

And the reason you can do this when you are having that one-night-stand is because there is no rapport. There is no connection of the mind the same way you have when you get to know another person and the way you feel when you give your heart to your partner and share with them your life.

Ole and I had quickies. They were great in that moment. But I loved MAKING LOVE with Ole. We took our time and prolonged the experience. We savoured each moment. We would never have been able to connect on the deep levels we did without being in rapport, without getting to KNOW each other.

Get in rapport, get in tune, get in harmony with your lover. You will never have to think about if sex is good, bad or otherwise. And you will feel the difference when you make love.

Passionate regards….Brenda

Romantic Getaways! They are rejuvenating to our senses. They add spice to our love making. They put a little intrigue into our daily humdrum. Romantic Getaways are fabulous! What more needs to be said? Lots!

There is no right or wrong place to go for a romantic rendezvous. The most important ingredients are to have an open mind and heart to allow the fantasy to carry us away. Expect nothing more and nothing less.

Romantic Getaways – Part 1  showed how an intended romantic trip that went a little haywire still produced the desired results for both of us because we were both open to whatever happened. Neither of us had any expectations, just love in our hearts.

My post Give Them What They Want showed how good intentions can go extremely wrong. Just because I thought it would be a wonderful evening getaway for love and romance, it was definitely not his. I satisfied my desires and ideals when I should have thought more about what would have turned him on.

You have to think about who your partner is, what they like, what experiences have they had in the past.

You would never take a city girl out camping in a tent in the woods with bears if she is not that kind of person. At least not the first time, unless of course she has expressed some interest in sleeping in a tent. The better you know each other, the more you can expand your romantic horizons.

Romantic  Getaways are fun to plan and fun to experience. When you are planning with your lover in mind, their ideals and dreams and what excites them, you can’t go wrong. THEY are the focus. The desired result is love, romance and a wonderful experience. There is nothing better.

Some years ago, I had set up a weekend away at a nice resort in a town a couple hours from our house. I told Ole we had to go see the publishers because they had called and there was a problem with something. I was very vague and acted a little scattered.

I said I would drive cause he had been working all day and could just relax. He had a million questions and I just kept telling him I wasn’t sure what the problem was. They just called and asked if we could drive over and see them.

They lived in the next town over and when we passed it, Ole got a little grin on his face and asked what was I up to? I just smiled and said I was kidnapping him for a couple days and he should just lean back and enjoy the ride. I didn’t spill the beans about where we were going. It was more fun for him to try to figure it out as we drove.

I had reserved the hotel a couple days before. I made arrangements for our cats to be taken care of. Then I packed our bags and put them in the truck while he showered. I loved surprising him but he loved being surprised. If he didn’t, this may not have turned out as fun and wonderful as it did.

Romance is in the heart of the beholder. A dream getaway to a quiet remote island maybe your idea but not so appealing to someone that lives to party and loves the night life.

When you have lived the dream in your first Romantic Getaway, the second comes easier because your mind opens up to other ways to wow your lover. As well, your lover opens up to other new experiences. They begin to get excited about the next time because the first was so great. They also begin to think about how to wow you.

Romantic Getaways! They create blissful feelings; feelings of love, joy, happiness, contentment, excitement, and the list goes on.

Be open to the fantasy. Be open to the dream. Be open in your thoughts and hearts. Romance spreads from you heart to your head and back again. Let every day be a Romantic Getaway.

Passionate regards….Brenda

I am SO EXCITED I can hardly contain myself. I HAVE GREAT NEWS! The book Ole and I wrote so many years ago is NOW AVAILABLE!

We had so much fun writing this book knowing that it will help bring more love into other peoples lives. And it has.

It is an instant down loadable ebook that you can start using today to experience the most incredible love of your life. Just like Ole and I had

Click on the book cover above and it will take you to the order page. You will see pictures of us and can read about how we decided to write this book. As you scroll down to the bottom you will see the order buttons.

Life is a journey. Why not ride the train of passion, pleasure and unconditional love. If you are worried this is just another sex book, think again. There is SO MUCH MORE packed into this little volume of knowledge.

Start your journey to a more passionate, loving and peaceful relationship.

THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Passionate regards….Brenda

I have just been reviewing my posts and reading the comments again. What a wonderful bunch of people coming here and leaving their thoughts about what I write. Thank you ALL… for your time and support.

I can only hope that what Ole and I experienced, talked about and taught in our seminars is helping other people.

We had an amazing marriage. People would always comment on how loving and affectionate we were. And that was our real life not just our public life.

When we drove, we would hold hands. When we walked we would hold hands and take time to steal a kiss or three. When we were at home and playing on the computer or watching TV (when we finally had channels to watch), we would sit close and rest our hand on each other’s leg or snuggle into each other.

We always touched.

It wasn’t that we made a conscious decision to touch but it was just something that we always did. Even out eating at a friend’s house, our legs or hands were touching under the table.

When Ole died, I think that was one of the things I miss most. His hand on mine or arms wrapped around each other. I always felt safe in his arms. Always.

Early in our relationship, and still today I notice that there are many couples that don’t touch. They are missing out on so much. Touch is fundamental in building a strong, healthy relationship.

Scientists have proven that babies will die without touch. They have shown with baby monkeys that even a surrogate mother of cloth that the babies could snuggle up to was better than no touch at all.

Ole and I read about and practiced Tantric sex. We were really starting to get interested in this not long before he died. So we really didn’t have a lot of time with it but it was very interesting and produced some amazing results in our relationship.

Some of the practices that we used regularly was about breath control and touch. There was one particular practice that was beyond words. It was all about creating the flow of energy between our two bodies and spirits.

You sit cross-legged across from one another. Your right hand rests on your lovers heart and theirs on your heart. Your left hand gently cups your lovers genital area and their left hand on yours. You can do this clothed or without clothes.

This is not about sex. You are connecting to each other through breath and energy.

Then you sit still and quiet and look into each other’s eyes. This is not a staring contest. You are allowed to relax and blink. But LOOK into your lover’s eyes. Feel their hands resting on your body and yours on them. Let your breathing synchronize with your lovers. You breath in together and out together.

Now feel the flow of energy that flows into your right hand from their heart through your body and out again from your left hand on their genitals. Your lover concentrates and feels this flow also all the while holding contact with your eyes.

This flow, this circle of energy between the two of you is phenomenal. You won’t believe how alive and wonderful you feel until you try this. The love that flows from your hands into your lovers body and from their hands into you is so tangible and real. Like your bodies have been plugged into an electrical socket. But it is your lover’s energy you are plugged into.

The emotions that would well up unexpectedly between Ole and I were amazing. The love we would feel flowing between us and through us was incredible.

Sometimes we would release through tears of joy and unconditional love. Then sometimes the tears would release the sadness that was sitting inside that we had not let go of. And sometimes we became high in our feelings and just sit and smile at each other.

Hold this position as long as you can. The more you practice the longer you can sit and hold this energy flow. We would aim for 15 minutes. That doesn’t sound like a long time but in the beginning it can be difficult to maintain this position for longer than 5 minutes. As you practice, the longer you will be able to sit.

At first you may feel awkward, a little silly and giggle a bit but persevere. It is worth the effort.

Just writing this the tears flow for both the love we had and the man I lost. I can feel that love flowing through me still as if we were sitting and doing this right now. This excersize is SO POWERFUL.

Stretch yourselves and your comfort zones. Soon you will be excited to try something new and adventurous. Soon you will seek out new experiences that will bring you both closer together.

Be adventurous in your relationship. Explore with your minds and your bodies and never be afraid to try something new and different that brings you closer together and expands your mind to new awareness.

I have gave you an incredible gift here today. The Power of Touch. The Power of Connecting. The Power Within Yourself.

A touch can say something that words can’t.

Passionate regards….Brenda