I was just reading an article on minimalist lifestyle that a fellow twitter, @RobLear posted the link to. You can read the article here if you are interested http://is.gd/2m12u

It made me think about relationships and the all the stuff we do that just ‘fills’ a day. How much of it REALLY counts?I am not saying we should take our relationships to a minimalist exisitance but that we CAN become aware of what we do in our relationships that really produce wonderful results.

For instance, a kiss. How many times do you just peck your partner upon waking, saying good-bye or a greeting peck-kiss? Yes, this does impart affection but imagine if you took your lover in your arms before you left for work and made that kiss count.

Imagine passion enveloping the both of you in that kiss. Your eyes meeting, the tenderness of your embrace, the anticipation of your lips joining…sigh. Then…you KISS. You hold each other and fall passionately in love all over again for that 2 minutes you decided to Make Everything You Do Count.

Now imagine returning home. Your lover will be waiting for you, anticipating what comes next. You will be anxious to get home to hold your darling once more and dive into that feeling of love and bliss.  You made that kiss count. How beautiful that a kiss can open hearts to feel so much.

But what about in the other areas of your life together. Ole and I heard couples talk about how one would do most of the household chores while the other turned a blind eye. It can build into a real problem for some people to the point of huge arguments.

If you are reading this and nodding your head in agreement you are either the one doing the chores or the one that is being yelled at for being lazy. So what is the solution…Make Everything You Do Count! And I don’t mean this in a ‘get brownie points’ kind of way.

If you are the person that is doing the chores and most likely the yelling, stop for a moment and ask what you can do different in this situation. Some people just expect that the other person will see you picking up and cleaning the house and join in. That could be a dream you are living in…yes?

Go to your partner and tell them you are feeling a little amourous but the house is putting a damper on your mood. If your lover would help with the household chores, you could enjoy some love-time together after. And with their help, it won’t take so long. Of course this is a bribe but what a delicious reward.

Your love-time could be anything that makes you both feel connected and wonderful and totally loved and in-love. You can snuggle on the couch, watch a movie, go for a walk and hold hands, talk, make love, sit in the car and make out, watch the sunset. You decide but make it count. Don’t set a time limit. Just let your love flow and your hearts open.

Now, the person that is usually the recipient of the anger and accusations of being lazy…Make Everything You Do Count! Get off your butt and help. I know it is easy to get lost in a project and completely loose focus of the outside world. But you have to open your sights a bit. It’s Saturday and that is the day the house gets cleaned but you sit at your latest project and poof! The world disappears.

Before you go to that project or the tv or out to the garage, go to your sweety and say you would like to help with the Saturday chores so that you have more time to be together after. Or that you both can enjoy your projects when things are done.

Back to the first person…be patient. Your lover may not do or clean the way you do but they are giving their best. So be happy they are helping. No critisizing or complaining. Offer suggestions how they can achieve better results. Make Everything You Do Count!

Back to the second person…understand that your lover is not critisizing you. There are some things we are good at and some we are not. So take the advise and run with it. Learn from the master so to speak. Make Everything You Do Count!

Ole would help me around house. In the beginning I would get riled up because he didn’t do things the way I wanted or whatever. But then I realised at least he was helping. So if there was a specific way I wanted something done,  I would ask him to do it like such and such. No yelling. No demanding. No making him feel upset or sad. And the same went for him when I was helping him.

We LOVED being together. Didn’t matter if we were cleaning house or collecting firewood or watching a movie, it was great.

Make Everything You Do Count! You don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

Passionate regards….Brenda

!*!*!*!*!Happy New Year!*!*!*!*!

I have been working on a few things this past month and the holidays are still a little tough to handle without Ole. So I thought it was best to lie low and take care of myself.

So what kind of dreams do you have for 2010? What do you most wish for in this new year? Are you wishing to save the world from hunger and poverty? Are you dreaming of world peace? These are wonderful wishes and dreams and anything is possible so keep up the good thoughts.

What about for yourself? I know we all make the ‘I am going to loose 20 pounds this year’ resolution. Some are diligent enough to achieve the goal and others are swayed with the instant pleasure of chocolate on their lips. Okay I am really talking about myself here;-)

But I have made some pretty lofty wishes, dreams and goals for myself in 2010. I feel that this year is a special year for me and I am pretty sure I will achieve what I set out to do. 

1. Be happy…the past four years have been so very hard loosing Ole. I have been to hell and climbing my way out. I was naturally more on the happy/optimistic-side-of-life kind of gal. I miss that part of me. After Ole died, I was no longer that person and never will be who I was before. So I have decided to create a NEW happy/optimistic Me.

2. Share the love…I have been working in a handicap 24/7 facility for the past couple years. I love working there and I love hugging those people and dancing and playing with them. I believe I have made a difference in their lives. I still had so much love to give and I was so fortunate to have these people come into my life when I needed them most. As I loved them more and more, this love flowed right back to me from their wonderful, amazing selves. I will be forever grateful for this experience.

3. Help others…I love helping people. It doesn’t matter how I just like helping. If it’s helping to rip down a wall or to lend a soft shoulder and an open ear. I was a hairstylist for over 25 years. I loved my job. I loved to see people feel good when they walked out of my salon. The smiles and the new found confidence in their face meant everything to me. I loved to listen to their stories and offer what little wisdom I could to make them see their life was going great. I love helping others.

4. Start over…an odd dream/goal wouldn’t you say? I have been getting my house ready to sell here in Denmark so I can move back to Canada in the spring. I have nothing in Canada. Family yes, but no job, house, car, furniture. Nothing! I am starting over. I wish that this new start is the beginning to a remarkable new life. A life where I can continue to make a difference in our world by being happy, sharing love and helping others.

So those are my wishes and dreams for 2010. I am hoping that I will be able to accomplish the first three with this blog. Some feedback on what you would like to see here in regard with relationships would be great. I know Ole and I can help. I say Ole also because I learned so much from him how to love and help others and he made me VERY happy.

I found a letter from a dear friend after Ole died. She wrote:’…your great stories of your adventures as a couple – I could go on for a while but won’t. You were both an inspiration to me.Your deep love for Ole was so evident. Not afraid to share an embrace or a kiss in front of us – how special! May you find comfort and peace in your aching heart…’

I wish that for you too. May you find comfort and peace in 2010. May all your most heart felt wishes and dreams become your reality. May you have a most blessed and amazing year in 2010.

Passionate regards….Brenda