I was listening to Bob Proctor and his Six Minutes to Success program. He was talking about sex(the noun).  He said we have a lot of misunderstanding about sex. I have to agree with him. Where do you stand? Is it good, bad or otherwise?

There is so much tabu about sex and talking openly about it. Yet we can talk easily about the war, bloody accidents, fights, angry situations and the graphic scenes we see in movies of murder, rape, child abuse etc.

 But if you start talking about sex, people get all twittery and shy. Or else they just shut you down or shut you out. WHY?

I believe there is sex(the verb) and there is making love. And there is a definite difference. Sex is the one-night-stands. Sex is the 10 minute quickies. Sex is about just seeking that adreneline rush you get from having intercourse and the orgasmic release you feel in your body. Sex is a lot about looking out for your own gratification.

But making love is something totally different. When you make love you engage ALL your senses. You feel every caress to the Nth degree. Each kiss is savoured like a delicious dessert. The dance of 2 loving people in the horizontal position is as beautiful as a ballet.

And as your own mind and body are whirling in this amazing feeling dance, you are very aware of your partner and what they feel as well. You are focused as much on their body and that they should experience incredible titillating sensations as you are on your own self.

Sensual. Sexual. Exciting. Building to a crescendo with each touch, with each kiss, with each thrust. You engauge ALL of your senses. Your smell is heightened. Your skin tingles. Your body pulses. It’s the most amazing thing to make love with someone you are in love with.

I remember asking a girlfriend one time what it was like to make love to man you are in love with. She said she could not describe how wonderful it felt. But she said that once you do, you will know the difference. She was absolutely right!

When I would make love to Ole, I knew exactly what she was talking about. The feelings, the sensations, EVERYTHING was different. I had never made love before. I had only had sex. I knew that then.

So back to Bob Proctor…he said that when two people are in rapport with their ideas and emotions, they have a great physical relationship. I absolutely agree with him!

We think foreplay is just the part that gets your mind and body in the mood for intercourse. But it is more than that. We engage in foreplay almost all of the time.

Every time you run your hand across your lover’s shoulders, every time you talk about your hopes, dreams, ideas and fears, you are engaging in foreplay. Bob Proctor calls it rapport.

Now think about this. If the person you are in an intimate and sexual relationship with was not someone you liked to talk to, share your thoughts, hopes and fears with, or have anything in common, do you think that your sex life would be so great? NO!

Our minds and emotions must be involved in the sexual experience to make it a mind blowing event.

Try it! The next time you are going to make love to your sweetheart, don’t think about anything. NOTHING!

You cannot think about where their hands are touching you. You cannot see the colors as you close your eyes and allow your soul to be swept away in a river of sensuality and excitement. You cannot let your heart explode with love when they drive your body to the brink of release.  You can only focus on your body and the release you are seeking.

Can you do that? I doubt it.

BUT! If you were just having sex with someone, you could do that. You could just get lost inside your own physical senses and have your fun.

And the reason you can do this when you are having that one-night-stand is because there is no rapport. There is no connection of the mind the same way you have when you get to know another person and the way you feel when you give your heart to your partner and share with them your life.

Ole and I had quickies. They were great in that moment. But I loved MAKING LOVE with Ole. We took our time and prolonged the experience. We savoured each moment. We would never have been able to connect on the deep levels we did without being in rapport, without getting to KNOW each other.

Get in rapport, get in tune, get in harmony with your lover. You will never have to think about if sex is good, bad or otherwise. And you will feel the difference when you make love.

Passionate regards….Brenda