Did you know that Flirting Is Healthy for you? I have known that for a long time but I get so uncomfortable flirting after Ole died. I mean that is almost 5 years I have held my flirtatious ways in check. I loved flirting.

I was just reading an article on MSN Dating and Personals about what flirting does for your physical health. It stated there that people who flirt have higher white blood-cell counts which gives your health and immune system a boost.

Now I know why I keep getting all these nasty bugs and flus here in Denmark. I don’t flirt with anyone! I kid you not…I have never been more sick with flus, colds, physical aches and pains in my life.

Ole and I got the occassional bug but not every little thing that came around. But we also loved to flirt with each other. I miss seeing him walking to the shower with all his glory hanging out. And he always took the opportunity to ‘wave’ at me on the way.

But even more I miss the eye contact that said “I will take you later…”. That just left me totally titilated through out the day. The looks we would flash at each other at a dinner party that said “I can’t wait to get you home, clothes off and loving on.”

I miss the phone calls, both giving and receiving them, whispering naughty little things to perk up his interest. I miss hearing the longing for me in his soft voice when I pick up the phone and he would say, “I want you.”

There were many times as we worked at a job together, I would tease Ole. I miss tantilising him with what I would do to him when we got home after work. I miss seeing his eyes light up and feeling his willingness to my suggessions pressed against me. I miss him so much.

Do you flirt with your lover? Do you hold him close as you say good-bye for the day, talk softly about the luscious ways you are going to tease his body when you get home, a quick little ear nibble and send him out the door? Do you call her up and in a brief 30 second conversation you can hear her breathing change? Do you text little messages to your sweetheart counting all the places you are going to kiss him or her?

When you go for a drive out in the country just to relax and see the green grass and trees…do you snuggle up close to your man and run your finger nail up and down the closed zipper on his jeans? Just to put a little zing in your trip.

I hope so! Not just for the benefits you get physically from flirting but also the benefits your relationship gets.

Flirting with your partner keeps that spark, that light in the eyes and that light in your hearts alive. Flirting adds a little excitement to think about during the day as you each go through your daily routines and jobs. Flirting keeps your lover on your mind and you on theirs…ALL DAY LONG!

HOW COOL IS THAT?!

There are many benefits to flirting also. Flirting takes a lot of pressure off a couple in the bedroom. So many people talk about preformance anxiety and worrying how they look naked. When you put some play into your love life, you take that seriousness out.

Then when it comes time to get between the sheets, you are both so hot and bothered that nothing else matters.

Try it today. Call your lover and whisper seductively into the phone what you would like to do to them. Or if you want to really get your man going, tell them what you would like them to do to you.

When you walk past each other, seize the opportunity to touch. It could be a hand flowing down the back from the shoulders to the bumb and a little pinch. Not too hard but enough to raise eyebrows and get your lover thinking, “What was THAT?” They may even turn around and try to find out what you REALLY meant.

There are so many ways you can raise the flirting level in your relationship that will put a light-hearted playfulness into the moment, the day and into the evening.

There is one word of caution…IF you flirt with your lover all day about what will happen when they come home, you better be prepared to deliver. After all, you don’t want to be know as just a tease. This will be like throwing ice water on your love life.

Get your flirting on! Love your way to better physical health. What can be better than that?

Passionate regards….Brenda

When you think about planning a Romantic Getaway, what do think about? Soft music, candle light, fireplace, exotic retreats?

That is the standards I guess for Romantic Getaways, but have you ever thought about Monster Trucks, skydiving, drive-in movie? Most people don’t think about these as Romantic Getaways but they can make the candle light and soft music seem lame in comparison.

Like I have said before, you wouldn’t take a person that hates fishing on a fishing trip. But sometimes, we design these enchanting moments to reflect OUR desires and that which could be pleasing, enjoyable and sexy to our partner.

But have you ever thought about what your partner finds REALLY EXCITING? Maybe your man has always wanted to go up in a hot air balloon but never has for various reasons. How thrilled would he be if you bought him a trip and said you would pick him up at the other end. Greet him with a picnic basket and a blanket where you can lounge and hear all about his experience. How HOT would he think you are? SMOKIN’!

Maybe that wonderful lady in your life has always wanted someone to come in and organise her kitchen or learn to play a guitar. But she has never pursued it for whatever reasons. Would you be the best boy on the block if you made this little dream come true? ABSOLUTELY! You would be smothered with kisses.

Think about when you have done something really exciting. You were filled with life and energy. You felt great and invincible. And you couldn’t wait to get home to your lover and tell him all about this moment you just had. You just wanted to hug and kiss him because you were filled with this amazing feeling and wanted to share it.

We are so conditioned to think of romance as soft and intimate and that it involves sitting across from each other holding hands while you talk in hushed tones and look longingly into each other’s eyes. 

But it is SO much more.

Unselfish acts of kindness are extremely romantic.

Think about how romantic it is when a person goes to a homeless shelter and helps in the kitchen. Think about how romantic it is when a person goes to a convalescent home and talks with the people that live there just to brighten their day. Think about how romantic it is when you lover offers to babysit for a friend so they can go out for a romantic dinner alone.

These are ALL Romantic Getaways. Not in the traditional sense but there is a romantic energy that flows through them. And you would look at your lover in a more romantic and loving way when you hear what they did. When you see them talking with people that just need a friend.

When Ole was in the hospital and should start his chemo, I was so beside myself. There was no way I could have went home and left him there. I slept in a chair beside his bed and held his hand or had my foot resting against his leg. I needed to know he was there and that I was there for him if he needed anything.

When he woke up the next day after that first night of chemo, he looked at me and asked if I had been there all night. I said of course I had. He smiled the softest smile and said, “How romantic.”  There were no candles or soft music but there was so much romance and love in that room it could have filled a million restaurants in Paris.

In fact, I didn’t go home until Ole did. The hospital brought a bed into his room and let me stay with him the whole week. Was this a Romantic Getaway that we would have dreamed of having with each other? I think not. But there was a thread of romance through it in a tragic and sad way. That week was extremely intimate and so much love flowed between us on deeper levels.

Now I am not saying to give up the candle light dinners for a soup kitchen. But once in a while it would bring more adventure, more spice, more dimension into your relationship.

We get caught in conditioned thinking not just in our relationships but our lives. We get caught in someone else’s thoughts and ideas what something should or shouldn’t look like, feel like, be like.

Put on your romantic thinking caps and see if you can’t explore the idea of Romantic Getaways from a totally new perspective. The connection you and your lover will experience will be deeper, more joyful and more loving.

Passionate regards….Brenda

Romantic Getaways! They are rejuvenating to our senses. They add spice to our love making. They put a little intrigue into our daily humdrum. Romantic Getaways are fabulous! What more needs to be said? Lots!

There is no right or wrong place to go for a romantic rendezvous. The most important ingredients are to have an open mind and heart to allow the fantasy to carry us away. Expect nothing more and nothing less.

Romantic Getaways – Part 1  showed how an intended romantic trip that went a little haywire still produced the desired results for both of us because we were both open to whatever happened. Neither of us had any expectations, just love in our hearts.

My post Give Them What They Want showed how good intentions can go extremely wrong. Just because I thought it would be a wonderful evening getaway for love and romance, it was definitely not his. I satisfied my desires and ideals when I should have thought more about what would have turned him on.

You have to think about who your partner is, what they like, what experiences have they had in the past.

You would never take a city girl out camping in a tent in the woods with bears if she is not that kind of person. At least not the first time, unless of course she has expressed some interest in sleeping in a tent. The better you know each other, the more you can expand your romantic horizons.

Romantic  Getaways are fun to plan and fun to experience. When you are planning with your lover in mind, their ideals and dreams and what excites them, you can’t go wrong. THEY are the focus. The desired result is love, romance and a wonderful experience. There is nothing better.

Some years ago, I had set up a weekend away at a nice resort in a town a couple hours from our house. I told Ole we had to go see the publishers because they had called and there was a problem with something. I was very vague and acted a little scattered.

I said I would drive cause he had been working all day and could just relax. He had a million questions and I just kept telling him I wasn’t sure what the problem was. They just called and asked if we could drive over and see them.

They lived in the next town over and when we passed it, Ole got a little grin on his face and asked what was I up to? I just smiled and said I was kidnapping him for a couple days and he should just lean back and enjoy the ride. I didn’t spill the beans about where we were going. It was more fun for him to try to figure it out as we drove.

I had reserved the hotel a couple days before. I made arrangements for our cats to be taken care of. Then I packed our bags and put them in the truck while he showered. I loved surprising him but he loved being surprised. If he didn’t, this may not have turned out as fun and wonderful as it did.

Romance is in the heart of the beholder. A dream getaway to a quiet remote island maybe your idea but not so appealing to someone that lives to party and loves the night life.

When you have lived the dream in your first Romantic Getaway, the second comes easier because your mind opens up to other ways to wow your lover. As well, your lover opens up to other new experiences. They begin to get excited about the next time because the first was so great. They also begin to think about how to wow you.

Romantic Getaways! They create blissful feelings; feelings of love, joy, happiness, contentment, excitement, and the list goes on.

Be open to the fantasy. Be open to the dream. Be open in your thoughts and hearts. Romance spreads from you heart to your head and back again. Let every day be a Romantic Getaway.

Passionate regards….Brenda