I was listening to a Joe Vitale program today and he said “Money likes speed.” Meaning that the quicker you act on your ideas, the more money you will generate.

But I got to thinking, does love like speed? I don’t know why I thought that but figured I will quickly act on my idea as Joe says.

Does Love like speed? I am a firm believer in love at first sight. I absolutely believe that there are couples from the very moment they met, they knew they were going to be together forever.

I know couples that went out for a VERY short period of time and decided to get married. My Mom and Dad for instance. They knew each other for only 6 weeks when Dad proposed to Mom. She said yes and he went off to the Navy in WW2. They got married a year later.

But I have also known couples that rushed into the whole-meal-deal and were divorced just as quick. So I guess I could ask myself, does divorce like speed. From what I have heard, the quicker the better.

I think Love is LIKE speed more than saying DOES it like speed. When you first fall in love the world is wonderful. There is nothing wrong and everything is right in your universe. The trees are greener. The birds sing louder. The colors are brighter. All is right in the world.

It really is like you are on a natural high. I am by far no scientist but I am sure there have been studies testing the chemical releases and all that happens in your mind and body when a person is new in love.

That first time when Ole told me “I love you”…WOW! Nothing else mattered in my world. The building could have collapsed around me and I would have just been happy to be there. Life was glorious. Fantastic! SUPER DELICIOUS!

Did we have a speedy courtship? I guess by some people’s standards we did. But looking back at our life we didn’t sit on the fence too long with anything. If we wanted to do, create, try or learn something, we just went out and did it.

But I remember the day we decided to get married. We were sitting on a tree at the beach and talking about what to do next in our lives. Should we stay in Denmark? Should we go back to Canada? And we also had to consider immigration laws? We decided, marriage. We knew we wanted to be together so that would be best.

That was a Wednesday.

We talked about when we should do this and thought Friday was a good day. Yes! Two days. We could call the mayor and see if we could set it up. Sounded good to us.

We went back to Ole’s parents to tell them. I could not even go in with Ole as I am a bit of a chicken at times. I didn’t understand Danish AT ALL then and could only read the body language. I didn’t want to read anything that wasn’t there so I opted to clean the car while Ole talked with his parents.

When Ole came out he was smiling the biggest smile. He said he talked to them and told them our plans. They thought maybe we were rushing things but Ole said no, this is what we want. They wanted to get the church booked and plan a wedding. Ole said no, we want to get married in 2 days by the mayor. I don’t think Ole’s parents knew what hit them when I came into Ole’s life!

We couldn’t get married on Friday because the mayor was busy so we had to wait until Monday, 11am. Perfect!

We told Ole’s family and his friends suspected we might be talking about getting married but we never really said anything to them until the day before. Ole’s mom and dad were there for the ceremony. It was wonderful!

When we went back to the farm, we were going to go back to work that afternoon. Ole’s parents had a tree farm and we worked with them. They said we couldn’t get married and go back to work. We should take the day and make it special.

We had lunch with the other workers and then went to see Egeskov Castle. When we came home later we went out for an amazing dinner with Ole’s family.

There was no one from my family there as it was a quick wedding and they were all in Canada. But that was okay too. I wore my Dad’s officer jacket from the Navy. So I knew he was there in spirit. And of course the family sent wonderful emails and phone calls wishing us well.

That was 12 years ago. Tomorrow would have been our wedding anniversary. I am missing my handsome husband more than I can say. If we didn’t use speed to our advantage in our short time together, maybe it would have even been shorter yet.

Does love like speed? It goes both ways. It is different for each individual and couple. But I KNOW for certain that life can speed by before you know it and it is over.

“There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” – George Sand

Here’s to SPEED!

Passionate regards….Brenda

When was the last time you challenged yourself? Maybe it was to accomplish a goal by a certain date or to achieve something great in sports. Maybe you wanted to learn something new and challenged yourself to do it?

Let me ask you this, when was the last time you challenged yourself to DO better, BE better in your relationship?

We focus so much on our outer world; our jobs, sports, hobbies, school, families. Sometimes our intimate relationships get pushed to the bottom of the list. We forget that our relationship with our wonderful other is one of our greatest challenges and achievements.

Ole and I were on a constant quest to learn more about how to have a great marriage. No we didn’t have kids to take care of but that doesn’t mean we had a lot of free time. But we still found the time to explore and learn to bring MORE into our marriage.

We challenged ourselves to be the best we could be in our marriage. And this meant learning about each other and relationships. We were very proud of the fact that people ALWAYS commented on what a loving relationship we had. But we also put a lot of work into our relationship too.

There are so many couples that don’t make it. I just wonder if they would have challenged themselves to BE more, DO more with each other, would they still decide to split up?

I believe that we focus on so much outside ourselves that we forget to focus on what is most important and just hope it will run on autopilot. We set financial, physical,  job related challenges and goals and we leave the most important part of our life, our relationship, to flow as best it can with little or no guidance.

How often do you hear anyone talking about they are setting a goal to learn 6 new sexual positions over the next 2 weeks? Or they have a goal to plan THE MOST romantic evening their partner could EVER imagine? Or they will learn 4 new places on their lovers body they like to be kissed, stroked, rubbed, or bit?

Not very often.

As we grow up we are not taught how to have a relationship. With the amount of divorces and single parents, it is difficult for kids to learn how to have a loving, long-term relationship because kids learn these things by example.

Again, I am not judging, just stating facts. I don’t know what has happened in people’s lives to bring them to the place that they are. We all make our own decisions and mistakes. I am not placing blame on anyone.

I am just suggesting that if couples would challenge them self or each other to learn more about love, making love and living in love, maybe we would have less divorces and single parents.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a house with both my parents. But that does not mean I learned how to have a great relationship with Ole. I am sure my parents loved each other but they didn’t hug and kiss in front of us. Well, Christmas morning, birthdays, that kind of thing they would give each other a little squeeze and kiss.

But my Mom has a temper and I learned how to yell. I learned that is how you argue with your husband (but it’s not the best way for sure). I don’t remember how often Mom would yell at Dad but I guess it was often enough. And then she wouldn’t talk to him after.

In high school, I watched how the kids dated. When I worked in the bars, I watched how people, lovers, treated each other. I wasn’t impressed so I never dated. But that doesn’t mean I never had ‘relationships’ with men. I just didn’t want anything long-term because I didn’t like what I had seen in my family’s relationships or most people around me.

I was fascinated with relationships and sex long before I met Ole and read more books than I can count. It was exciting to try new things. It was interesting to learn about the dynamics of a relationship. And when Ole and I got married, I was even more interested to learn, as was he.

Decide today that you will challenge yourself to learn something exciting, new, interesting, adventurous to bring more joy and love into your relationship. Challenge yourself to be all that you can be in your love affair and then push yourself that little bit extra.

If we put as much effort into our relationships as we do our sports, hobbies or watching TV, we all would have relationships that would grow and flourish into the romance of the century.

Be Bold! Be Brave! Be Adventurous! Challenge yourself to BE MORE in your relationship. The results are worth it.

Passioante regards….Brenda