Know My Husband a Little Better
by | Posted in Passionate Results No Comments »I had the most wonderful experience this past couple days. I got to know my husband a little more. I got to meet him at a time in his life that I didn’t know him or know much about.
In Denmark, if you get the short straw, you have to go into the army for 12 months. At least that’s how it was when Ole’s name was drawn. A man contacted me on Facebook if this was the same O.Poulsen that was in their platoon as they are organising a reunion.
Yes, it was my Ole. This wonderful man wrote such a beautiful email back to me on what Ole was like in the army, what he did, and the respect and friendship he had with his platoon. As I read the email I cried both for the love of the man I lost and to be able to get to know him from a different perpective.
Ole felt like a failure when we moved back to Denmark because we didn’t have the money he thought we should have by then. We didn’t have much of anything really but we had each other, our dreams, ideas and projects.
I was surprised when he told me how he felt. I said how many of his friends or family took the chance to move to another country? How many of his friends or family wrote a book and self published it? How many of his friends or family have had the courage to take the risks and face the challenges that he has? The answer…..NONE!
Doesn’t sound like much of a failure to me.
But even more important than all that, Ole had NO IDEA how deeply he touched people he came in contact with. He had NO IDEA how respected, loved and admired he was. He had NO IDEA the comfort, joy and love he gave openly and freely to others.
But that is who Ole was. He is the MOST AMAZING man I have EVER known. I miss him every second of every day.
I told Ole one day that Life is a journey. It is not about reaching a certain destination where you feel you have done it all, seen it all, or achieved it all. We, as people, change constantly in our likes and dislikes and our wants and needs. The only end we have in this life is death and yet, that is only the death of our physical being. Not our spirit.
That was so evident in this wonderful email from a man I don’t know but am grateful for having known Ole. Ole had no idea the impact he had on these 20 men he spent that year of his young life with in the Danish army. Or, I can imagine, the impact he had on anyone else for that matter.
We all go through life this way I think. I have no idea how I have impacted other people’s lives for the good or bad of it. I can only hope that there was definitely more good.
What about you? If you were to die today, what would people say about you? Would they write a beautiful email or card to your wife, husband, lover, or family telling them wonderful stories and memories of you? How you made them laugh when things were a little tough to handle. How you offered a shoulder and an ear when they needed someone to comfort them. How you made a difference in their life even if it was for just one moment in time.
Our lives are hectic sometimes. We get caught up in the frantic sway of work, family, emotions, money and everything else that plays in our daily existence. Sometimes that means we forget about others and focus on ourselves. Sometimes that means we don’t think we could make a difference so why try.
If my Ole thought that way, I would not have sat here and cried tears of love knowing that every word was true as I read that email. I knew it was true because that is just who Ole was.
This is one small piece of the email but says so much about my husband:
“I remember Pouslen as a very ‘lun’ person, as we would say in Danish (means ‘warm’, but in a cozy and comfortable way), with a subtle and ingratiating humor – but certainly also as a person with firm convictions and a strong moral compass. I had a lot of respect for him, and I liked him a lot – as did everybody else. Poulsen would probably be the one, that most people were looking forward to seeing again – and his not being there will leave a 6’7″ hole, that we will all feel acutely.”
That hole is very real in my life. But I can fill it a little when I think about his kindness, sense of humor, his ideas and ideals. But most of all the love he just gave freely to me and everyone that came in contact with him.
I apologise for the length of this post. The thing is, I believe it is important to have role models. Ole was definitely a person I strive to be more like every day and I know I fall short. But at least I do my best.
What about You?
Passionate regards….Brenda
