Disconnected
by | Posted in Passionate Results No Comments »I am so happy to be back. I feel like I have been so disconnected. I don’t ever want that to happen again.
I had some troubles posting a new post here…I couldn’t. Luckily I had some great advice from a couple people and nothing can stop me now.
When I started thinking about this post I thought this is a great thing to talk about for couples…feeling disconnected. I think it happens at some point in time to many couples. The trick is, what do you do to get that connection with your lover back?
Being disconnected can happen at any time and for many reasons. I know in our second year I went through a period of feeling very un-sexy. I felt like I was not pretty or feminine. I felt out of sorts with myself which in turn reflected on my relationship with Ole.
He was becoming more frustrated because he tried every way he could to convince me that I WAS sexy, beautiful, feminine and that he desired and loved me. He tried so hard to make me feel and see what he did.
It wasn’t easy. Just because Ole felt I was desirable and pretty didn’t help the way I felt about myself. And that was where the real problem was.
I had to find that part of ME again. That part of ME that felt flirty and sexy. That part of ME when I looked in the mirror and thought I LOOKED GOOD!
This affected both of us for a few months. It was a challenge for me to find my way back. And it was a challenge for Ole because he always only wanted the best for me.
But I was able to get my groove back. The way I did it was I took time for me. I pampered myself with bubbles and body rubs…provided by Ole of course. I took time to read for fun not just to learn something. I took time to have meaningful conversations with the Brenda inside.
The conversations I had were about what I wanted from my marriage. What I wanted to give to my marriage. What I wanted to preserve or grow inside of ME that was separate from my relationship with Ole but that would build a stronger connection WITH him.
Also, I had allowed myself to slip into a Lazy Me. I was not wearing pretty, feminine clothes. Mostly because we spent a lot of time at home together. Why dress up? Lazy Me!
I had allowed myself to not put on makeup. Now for some women that is not important but makeup has always been a part of my sexy, pretty self. Lazy Me!
Plus, I got really wrapped up in what Ole wanted. I forgot about what I wanted and enjoyed. Ole would get really nervous when we would go out shopping. He thought that meant spending money and possibly a lot of money. Spending ANY money (that we didn’t have) was very stressful for him.
But shopping to me meant just going out and having a look in the shops. Maybe try on some new clothes. That didn’t mean I was going to buy them.
So to keep the peace and not have him get upset, I chose to stay home or do something else that did not include ‘shopping’. I lost another chunk of myself.
After my soul searching it was easier to find out what I needed to be me, the ME that Ole fell in love with, the ME that I loved. Then I moved forward and began to set the missing pieces of my inner puzzle together again. Which in turn made the connection between Ole and I stronger because I was stronger inside of ME.
I challenge you to find your missing pieces if there are any, and place them back into your puzzle. Rebuild that Amazing You into a new and improved design of yourself.
Rebuild that loving connection with YOUR INNER YOU and in-turn that loving connection with that special someone in your life will also become stronger.
I love being back and CONNECTING with YOU.
xoxoxoxoxo HUGS FOR EVERYONE xoxoxoxox
Passionate regards….Brenda
