Archive for December, 2009

6th December

The Games People Play

I just read a joke about a costume party at http://www.comedyfootprint.com/2009/11/halloween-party-surprise/. I am warning you it is a little racy and makes you go EEWWW. But it made me think about how many couples do this and set themselves up for a fight or collapse of their relationship.

Again, this comes back to the ‘How much do you love me? – I am not enough’ mentality. Of course we all want to be loved. That is a given in human nature. And confirmation of this shared loved is wonderful.

But there are some people that play stupid little games with their lover that just sets them up for disappointment and heartache. They ask dumb questions like ‘Do you think he/she is hot? Would you sleep with him/her if you got the chance? Would you tell me about it?’ or ‘What does your dream partner look like to you? What is their personality, style sense, etc.?’ Get the picture?

These people have trouble inside their own skin I think. They don’t feel ‘good enough’ and are looking to their partner to confirm these feelings. Then when the fight or disintegration of the relationship begins, it is not their fault because their partner told them they were not good enough. And this just adds to their own angst and pain.

I worked in a bar for many years and would watch couples play stupid games. Getting drunk and ridiculous and deciding that they are going to show their lover that another man or woman wants them. Dumb game! Who cares if another person thinks you are desirable! What matters most is that your lover, your partner, your husband or wife thinks that you are desirable. The rest absolutely don’t matter.

Games are for kids. And games that are nasty and hurtful are not for anybody. They serve no higher good to those involved. Play games that empower your relationship. And if you are angry with your lover, don’t play any games at all. Talk straight. Be honest and open to clear the destructive feelings inside.

‘When you talk you get understanding and understanding is peace. When you don’t talk, you get misunderstanding and misunderstanding is fear.’    Ole Poulsen 1973 – 2006

Ole and I played lots of games…card games, board games, computer games. And many wonderful games lovers play, but that is for another day 😉 

Passionate regards….Brenda

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